-- COMMISSIONS ARE CLOSED -
Commissioners list won't be public.
-For followers only-
I'll pick 2 winners!
• Bust (up to 3 characters)
• Half body (up to 2 charas)
• 1 chara fullbody + Chibi of 1 chara
= In last stage
= In process
= In stand by for any reason
= Not started yet
My name is Noelia,
but as artist I identify myself as .
25 years old | Buenos Aires, Argentina. | Arabian and Turkish heritage
Graphic Design Major and Digital Illustration in Da Vinci Institute.
I am the proud owner of a beautiful WACOM BAMBOO PEN
I'm scorpio, sometimes my heart is in the right place but my methods could be better.... a little less harsh... maybe????
•~~My Picarto Channel~~
• ~~My Tumblr~~
•~~My Youtube Channel~~
• ~~My Twitter~~
Current Residence: San Antonio de Padua, Merlo, Buenos Aires.
Favorite genre of music: Music in general. I love music♥
Favorite style of art: Yo tengo todo' lo' estilos papi, cual tu quieres? owo
Favorite color: Shades of pink.
Operating System: Windows 7
Favorite desert: Peach Yogurt
Main characteristic: Overthinking everything;;;
Pet Peeve: Self Pity people.
Personal Quote: "That's what they say" (it's an inside joke in my family).
Ok so I don't know where to start and I don’t know either how long this will end up being but since it relates to much to the core of my internet persona (born in 2010), I guess it will be long because I have a lot on my mind.
I won’t be giving any names or links here but you’re more than welcome to make your educate guesses.
During this week I received a few notes and links to videos made by at least 10 different people, all of them related to the same topic more or less, which is roughly a problem I detached myself from years ago (now I look back and say “wow how did I allow this thing to take so much of my time?”).
The notes weren’t meant for me to take part into this situation, they were on the tone of “Oh I know you are/used to be friends with X and that also Z gave you a bad time so did u see what is happening now?”. I know I was supposed to be amused by those but to be honest? It horrified me how into it these people are. Back when my generation had their dramas, it was all fandom related honestly; it might extend to art (as in looking down on tracers and people with big attitudes and mediocre art) or collisions related to headcanons that would eventually split a portion of the fandom into smaller groups and generate passive aggressive feels in private chats. All of that in successive and/or overlapping cycles and re-aligned groups. And repeat. That’s it.
I’m not gonna lie, I won’t say it was funny or easier because the me back then of course that took it seriously and allowed it get me for a bit. But I was clever enough to recognize the moment that it escalated out of a fandom quarrel and became person against person and that hate started to dictate my life (the moment when it resembled the current situation with these people).
More than a moment it was a whole process for me honestly, it took me a while to come to terms with myself, in successive steps, and finally start to just drop things one by one, leave things behind, to start to choose my battles and just flee from those battles that were lost even before they started. It was one of those situations where that I had to take the first step in order to get myself out of it, alone, because guess what? When everything spiraled into a mess, everybody else around me was in the same situation. They were either too gone already or too busy trying to save themselves. Some of them did it, some didn’t, and this post is mainly referring to these people that are leeching on stuff that started like 5 years ago and make it be the reason of their lives or a hobby, or worse, making others fight because that makes said others feel purposeful.
There’s a huge difference between making catharsis and bringing people in to fight a non-worth it battle with you. There’s a huge difference between going to a private chat with your friends and state that you dislike somebody’s attitude or their actions (specially if said actions don't affect anyone but themselves), and going public to trash on somebody you dislike or that you subjectively consider that has done you bad. It gets specially bad if the chosen media to do so are videos that are alarmingly reaching 100k views, which translates into 99.999.997 people that are taking part on a drama they have NOTHING to do with, taking sides with people they don’t even know, and taking a stance towards the other person based on what a narrating voice of a podcast-ish video said in a moment of rage.
“But I need to say my side of the story” doesn’t apply in this case; neither side of the story should be available for ANYONE outside the people involved in first place, specially for the kind of problems I’m seeing this stuff was ignited by.
I honestly tried to reconstruct the order of events of this whole mess and even when some things happened when I was still around and in touch with some of the people, it was impossible because I always end up thinking “nah, it’s ridiculous to think something like THAT made this person make a half-hour video shitting on this other person, there must be something else”. Except there isn’t. What’s worse, the whole thing feedbacks itself because both sides, in constant re-alignment, got addicted to it and attack each other with a new half-hour video, pointing fingers and dragging in even more active spectators. It’s seriously becoming a hobby for these people and there’s no way it will end up well for either side unless one of you say enough and drop the matter and move forward into something more worth of your time, something that actually brings you some positive vibes to help you go on with real life out there (which is hard enough already).
I’m telling you this from the position of a person that went through a less severe version of it. I stayed a bit too long because I thought it was my duty to take care of people (spoilers, it wasn’t) because if I didn’t then nobody else would, and I paid the consequences. The recovery process was terrible, yet I was lucky to already have @dentos-wife by my side at that moment showering me with love, and even with that it took a long time to just detox myself from it. The longer you stay, the worse it will be when you realize it’s consuming your life and twisting your mood and personality and that it’s making you do things your younger self, the one that got into a community just to have fun, would be disgusted of. You eventually get addicted to toxicity as extreme as it sounds, and the longer you stay in it, the longer you convince yourself that you’re comfortable with the way things are and that you couldn’t lead a more interesting life without it. At some point there’s not even more “sides”, it’s just a massive battle royale under a veil of temporal yet tense truces till something blows up unexpectedly and before you know everyone's at it again, and that person that was your friend yesterday now wants you under a truck because they're siding now with that one person you dislike (it sounds ridiculous because it is, but it’s also what really happens sadly).
To the people involved in this drama (because I know that at least 4 of you follow me):
If you need to take a time out of the internet or a person or group of persons that are making your mood toxic, do it; but do it for real, disconnect yourself at 100% from the internet and for as long as it takes. You need to get something else to think about during the day, something else to talk about with your friends. Looking at things in perspective will help you to realize how systematic hate is just adding worthless problems to the list of things that already make your life hard. Time will eventually so one of two things: either give you the reason and you will for once and good banish someone from your life and purposefully ignore them, or show you that the problem wasn’t worth so much angst and that maybe after getting a rest from their presence, you’re willing to forgive the other person and re-build your relationship from zero again, from another perspective; and there’s nothing wrong with either of those things.
Some people will change with the time and become better versions of themselves, even after events like these and even if they were on the other side of the battlefield; some won’t, even when they promise they have changed, it’s in some individuals nature to find pleasure in toxicity, unaffected by who goes down in the process. Be it being the victim of a made-up villain or being a paladin of justice that goes against said villain, some people only know how to interact with others and feel relevant like that and it’s the duty of everyone else to stay away from them. Not denouncing them, no bashing nor awareness campaigns, just STAY AWAY from them. Attention will only feed them and the problem won’t hit an end.
It is OKAY and healthy to just leave somebody alone and do nothing about them. Unless we’re talking about somebody that is relevant to the actual real world and means a real damage for your physical or emotional integrity (read the sentient cheeto, courtesy of the USA), the rest of the nobodies like you and me that you will find on the internet won’t get to do ANYTHING to you, they have no real power to get you unless you open the door to them and give them what they want: attention. They can’t do anything to you if you just cut for the healthy way and build a wall between you and them. And I promise you that it will either be the end of it for real or a shuffle and deal for the good of the two sides.
Nobody on the internet is unavoidable if you decide to avoid them. I know it’s hard, harder than it sounds, but at the end it will be way easier and cheaper for your emotional health than feeding the beast of hate and revenge indefinitely.